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Many of us struggle with the "sandwich years", where the manic combination of working, caring for small children, having older children with hectic schedules, and looking out for ageing parents lead you to forget about the one thing in your life that used to be so important: you.

The key to navigating these years when you reach your 40s is finding ways to manage those pressures and ensuring they don't affect other parts of your life.

Easier said than done? Not so! While things like a healthy sex life, sleep schedule, stress management and fitness routine might seem like a thing of the past, there are a number of things you can do to get back into the swing of things.

We've asked a number of experts to share the very best tips and tricks to help you do so...

How to have better sex

Erectile dysfunction can happen at any age but studies show an increase in prevalence from 40 onwards, says David Goldmeier, a leading consultant in sexual health based at Imperial College London. “In the younger man, it’s usually related to performance anxiety, but in older groups, it’s caused by all the same conditions that predispose to heart problems and strokes: high blood pressure and cholesterol, diabetes, being overweight.

“So anyone experiencing a persistent sexual problem should go to their doctor.” Treating these problems through lifestyle changes such as exercise, diet and giving up smoking, can improve erectile dysfunction.

“Once all the underlying causes have been looked at, you can use any of the PDE5 inhibitors such as sildenafil (Viagra).”

Stress over work, children and caring for elderly parents can leave people in their 40s exhausted and time-poor. “Couples go to therapy and say there’s a problem with the sex, but when you start to talk it’s because there are problems in the relationship. People are so busy, there’s no time to talk about it,” says Ammanda Major, a sex therapist and head of clinical practise at Relate.

Another mistake people make is having sex when they’re too tired, she says. “They end up feeling resentful, frustrated and used, and the experience is almost ‘by rote’.”

Try changing your habits - especially tech habits - and make time not just for sex, but for talking, touching and reconnecting. Remember, too, that a loss of interest in sex can be an early sign of depression. “This can be more obvious to see in men than in women,” says Dr Elise Dallas, clinical lead of women’s health at private GP service Babylon. “However men are not so great at coming forward.” For mild to moderate depression, a GP can refer you for CBT, she says, adding that the picture can be complex because anti-depressants can cause sexual problems of their own.

If vaginal dryness is an issue, consider whether you need to switch contraceptives, says Dr Dallas. “People in their 40s are often wanting a longer-lasting form, such as the coil - but it can cause dryness and affect libido.” It is important to remember that the sooner the situation is acknowledged and accepted, the sooner it can be addressed and fixed.

How to get better sleep

Heavy snoring caused by sleep apnoea is common as people hit midlife, says Dr Guy Leschziner, a world-renowned neurologist. Sleep apnoea is where the soft tissues in the throat collapse during sleep, temporarily – but often repeatedly – obstructing breathing, disturbing sleep, although you may not remember in the morning. It’s associated with being overweight, and particularly with weight around the abdomen and neck.

“If you’re snoring, feeling tired in the day, or waking yourself up choking or gasping this could point to sleep apnoea,” says Dr Leschziner. “The first thing to try is weight loss, as that often improves it.”

It can also be treated with a continuous positive airway pressure (CPAP) device – a small pump and breathing mask to keep the airway open.

As children start to fly the nest, leaving you with a spare bedroom, Dr Neil Stanley, an independent sleep researcher and author, suggests this may be a good age to consider a ‘sleep divorce’: separate beds, or even bedrooms. “It’s got nothing to do with the strength of your relationship,” he says. “It’s just pragmatic. We know from research that the majority of sleep disturbance is down to your bed partner, whether it’s physical movement or the noises they make.”

It is also important to get your timings right. In 2021, a study published in the European Heart Journal – Digital Health pinpointed a “golden hour” between 10 pm and 11 pm as the sweet spot for going to sleep. The findings, based on data from more than 88,000 participants of the UK Biobank, stated that those who dozed off between 10 pm and 10.59 pm had a lower risk of cardiovascular disease and stroke than those who dozed off earlier or later.