Fact: Your oral sex skills always have room for improvement. There are far too many people out there who can’t seem to locate a clitoris, let alone bring a woman to orgasm. Thus, we must learn and embrace knowledge.
You can never be too fabulous or too good at oral sex.
- Someone, probably.
Nearly every single woman needs clitoral stimulation to experience orgasm, and it just so happens that one of the easiest way to get that stimulation is with oral sex. If you don’t subscribe, now is the time to change that thinking.
It is high time we stopped classifying oral sex and intercourse as two, tiered things and finally embraced all sex as equal and valid, but hey, you don’t have to be an oral activist to improve yours or your partner’s skills.
Here are cunnilingus tips every human being should have on lock. Read, embrace, and send on to your partner immediately. Life is too short for mediocre oral.
Keep it consistent
The number one rule of great oral sex is consistency. What one person likes, another may not. Every single body is different and likes different things. That being said, when you find something that’s working, stick to it.
You can try doing clockwise or counterclockwise circles around the glans clitoris to start. This is a good jumping off point.
If her body is responding positively, keep going. If she isn’t feeling it, try something else. You can move your tongue up and down, side to side, or in a figure eight motion. The clitoris is not the only area you can explore with your tongue, but it has the most nerve endings and is the centre of the action.
Straight up pay attention
Pay attention to her moans and movements. If she’s making positive sounds and pushing her hips into your face, you’re on the right track. If she’s pulling away, lying there like a starfish, or saying something painfully obviously like, “Ouch!” do not keep doing whatever it is you’re doing.
The simple ability to pay attention takes average oral sex-givers into the big leagues. Is she telling you to keep going? If she is, keep going. Do not stop making that movement with your tongue. You can tease her a little bit, but if she’s getting into it, listen to her body.
Ask her what she wants
If you are confused and unsure of what she wants, ask her. This is especially helpful with a new partner. A thing that worked with one woman may not work with another. The vulva is as unique as a snowflake and no two are the same.
Does she likes internal stimulation while she receives oral sex? Does she enjoy having her labia licked? Is her vaginal opening particularly sensitive? You will not know unless you ask her. Being able to communicate with your partner is extremely hot. She’ll appreciate that you care enough to find out what brings her pleasure.
Use the clitoral hood
The clitoral hood is the flap that protects the external clitoris, much in the same way foreskin does for an uncircumcised penis. For many women, direct clitoral stimulation can be too intense, especially at the onset of oral sex.
The clitoral hood is your friend! Instead of pulling it up to access the clitoris, stimulate her clitoris over the hood. This will provide just the right amount of pleasure without causing discomfort. Once she’s sufficiently aroused, you can try touching the clit directly. Another trick? Try blowing on her clitoris before making contact with your tongue.
Remember, if you’re not sure if she’s into it, ask.
Try G-spot stimulation
If she enjoys internal stimulation during oral sex, simultaneously stimulate her clitoris and G-spot. The G-spot is less of a “spot” and more of an “area.” It’s the area that surrounds the urethral sponge. When stimulated, you’re accessing the root of the clitoris, the back end that you can’t see externally.
To find the G-spot, insert two fingers into the vaginal canal and hook up towards the belly button, behind the pubic bone region. Make a rocking horse motion with your fingers. You can press around the area, offering pressure-based stimulation, or move your fingers in a grounded, circular motion.
Don’t forget to pay attention. G-spot stimulation isn’t every woman’s cup of tea. Experimenting is great, but be willing to learn and hone your skills with each new partner.
Don’t be afraid of toys
Toys make an excellent addition to oral sex. They are fun, not threatening. Embrace toys. You can use a finger vibrator on her external clitoris while you stimulate her G-spot, place a G-spot wand in her vagina while you lick her clitoris, or try a combination.
Ask her how she likes to use sex toys, if she uses them. If she’d prefer to use it on herself, watch how she maneuvers the toy. Use your tongue to lick up and down the labia and to get the vaginal opening in on the action.
There are so many toys to choose from. You can even use that massive wand vibrator you love so much during oral sex. The possibilities are limitless.
Do not stop until she comes
Almost as important as consistency: Do not give half-baked oral sex. Once you start, do not stop until she has an orgasm. If she’ll let you, hold her hips in place and take her through to a second orgasm.
Encourage her to relax and take her time. So many women are afraid of “taking too long,” making it nearly impossible to come. Tell her how sexy she is an how much you enjoy going down on her. The key is to put her at ease so she can get off.
Stay down there as long as it takes. Patience is sexy.