For a position that seemingly everyone has heard of, cowgirl can still be intimidating! Being on top can come with a whole new set of questions. What do you do with your hands? What do you do when your legs get tired? What do you do about keeping rhythm? Here, three sex experts break down everything you need to know about this position.
1. ANGLE IS EVERYTHING.
Cowgirl doesn't mean you sit up straight on top of your partner at a 90 degree angle, but rather, you should lean forward slightly (up to a 45 degree angle) for the easiest and most comfortable penetration.
2. GRIND UP ON HIM.
Move your body like you're dancing. "Sit up and swivel your hips while you're atop him. You can use your hands on his hips for balance or place them on either side of him."
3. KEEP IT UNPREDICTABLE.
Switch up the speed and depth of penetration so there's no discernible pattern. "Start with shallow, fast thrusts, and let yourself slowly fully sink onto your partner every fifth thrust." Alicia Sinclair, certified sex educator and founder/CEO of The Cowgirl, also adds that if you're struggling to find a rhythm (who among us etc.), you can alternate between bouncing and grinding or varying your speeds for either to suit your comfort and pleasure.
4. GET HANDSY.
Experiment with your partner's hands and yours. Have them put their hands on your hips for extra leverage, suggests Smith. Sinclair mentions that leaning back and placing your arms behind you and on your partner's knees or ankles can help shift your weight when you start getting tired. You can also caress your own breasts or play with your nipples for extra stimulation, says Sinclair. Bonus: It's also a fun visual aid for your partner.
5. DON'T BE AFRAID TO TAKE OVER.
Want to make cowgirl even hotter? Hold your partner's hands above their head or use cuffs or restraints and tell them not to move. "Taking that control away from him will drive him crazy as you show him how you like to ride," says Smith. Just make sure you talk about it beforehand if you're breaking out the cuffs.
6. AND DON'T HESITATE TO TELL YOUR PARTNER TO TAKE OVER EITHER.
In that same vein, just because you're the one on top, doesn't mean you automatically have to take on all the work. It's totally cool to tell your partner to meet you halfway and thrust from below, says Sinclair.
7. TUCK YOUR LEGS IN.
Sinclair also notes that tucking your legs under your partner for extra leverage and support can make a big difference. Think about when someone holds your feed down while you do sit-ups—you can suddenly jolt up and down with a ton more energy than when you're busy trying to weigh your legs down yourself. This move can help stabilise you and keep your thighs from tiring out, Sinclair says.
8. GIVE THEM A SHOW.
Once you've mastered regs cowgirl, go into reverse-cowgirl to put on a show. It's basically the same thing, but you're facing their feet, not their face. Not only is this a good chance to show off your bangin' bod, but you're also free to go wild with your O-face since your back is to them.
9. TRY HAVING YOUR PARTNER SIT UP.
There's no rule that says your partner has to be lying on their back the whole time you're in the saddle. Try having them sit up to meet you so you're face-to-face. "This can help take some of the pressure off your thighs, switch up the rhythm, and allow you to hold onto them for support". Plus, when you're facing each other like this, you're primed to make out or turn up the eye contact.
10. INCORPORATE TOYS.
If you're on top, you can try leaning back so you have more access to stimulate your clit. If you need to use your hands to steady yourself, you can also ask your partner to hold the vibe for you. This can be especially sexy as you're giving them the reins to your pleasure.
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